Please take a moment to read our church's statement of faith, the New Hampshire Confession of 1833. Our pastor is Gordan Runyan. If you are in need of spiritual advice or encouragement, or just need to pray with someone, please call toll free 1-888-JESUS20.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Kick-ball with the AntiChrist

This is not a church-y sort of post, not Bible-y either. I just need to voice a conspiratorial suspicion here.

Here's the thing. I am quite used to the Mainstream Media taking it upon themselves to tell me what to think. They routinely tell me how I should consider every event they report on. They tell me what I should think of every politician that crosses the stage. They tell me what movies and music I should like. They tell me whose private lives I should be interested in.

Okay. I get it. That's what they do. I'm used to it. I expect it.

But now, I really think they've gone too far.

Now, it seems they're trying to tell me which sports I should like. I mean,

What in the stinkin' world is with this huge push to try and force Americans to give a rat's behind about Soccer?

Frankly, I'll tell you, it's part of their overall nefarious scheme to de-nationalize the world and make us all one under the futbol-loving Antichrist.

Well, I for one am not going along with it. Count me as a Bible-reading, gun-owning, Constitution-loving Christian American who will not be led quietly into the dark night!

I count my extreme distaste and hatred of the coma-inducing boredom-fest that is soccer as a measure of my American patriotism.

No to the New World Order. No to the Bilderburgers. No to the Global Warming Fascists.

And no to Soccer, the most brainless team-sport ever invented. Heck, I'd rather watch Olympic Curling!

Rant complete. You will now be returned to your original program.

Oh....and P.S. Go Dallas Cowboys!

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